'I'm done giving her handouts if she's gonna act entitled': Spoiled daughter makes fun of the poor girl at school, gets all of her privileges revoked

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Nov 23, 2023 4:00 PM EST

Raising a well-rounded child is always a conundrum. I can't speak from experience, but I imagine it would be particularly difficult to keep your teenager grounded if your family is affluent. Teenagers are inherently entitled, but imagine throwing a couple million dollars in their bank account along with the latest iPhone– it's a recipe for a Franken-child, hellbent on the social annihilation of those around them who are less-fortunate. 

But as a parent, how can you mitigate their unchecked superiority complex? One upper class dad found the perfect way to keep his daughter's feet on the ground…

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    Cheezburger Image 9840214272
    via u/canva

  • For those of us who are childless, it's tough to imagine the challenges of raising a teenager who has 100% access to the Internet and social media at all times on their phone. As a turnkey kiddo myself, I had a flip phone until I was a senior in high school and even that little T9-texting machine made some waves socially. Nowadays, kids are completely feral online and using their phones to hide so much more shenanigans than we could ever imagine. That phone is the lifeline to their social life. 

  • Because of this, the phone is a critical piece of leverage in every parent's arsenal. When your kid is acting up, perhaps they don't need so much time online to stew on their socials. But what would you do if you found out that your kid was not only misbehaving, but was quickly becoming the mean girl at school? If you learned you were raising a real-life Regina George, you might think twice about all of the other financial privileges that your daughter has access to. 

  • In our next story, one diligent dad found out that his daughter was turning into the school's biggest monster bully and decided to take a stand by flexing his authority a little bit. Scroll to read more about the controversial choice and the Uno-reverse that lead u/LearningParenting215 to address his spoiled child's shortcomings, after he found out that his daughter was making fun of the poor girl at school. 

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    r/AmItheAsshole Posted by u/LearningParenting215 AITA for punishing my 16-year-old step-daughter after we found out she was bullying a kid for being poor Not the Hi reddit, about 2 months ago my wife (f38) and I (m41) learned my step-daughter(f16) was bullying a girl in school over being poor,
    via u/LearningParent215
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    getting free lunch at school and not being able to afford neccessties such as her own nice car and stuff. Our daughter was kinda spoiled, we provided her with everything she needed along with an allowance and a part time job at my company (small family service business). We've been considered middle-class, doing things others werent as privileged to do such as buying our daughter a car on her 16th birthday.
    via u/LearningParent215
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    I come from a family of immigrants and was considered in poverty growing up, after learning about the bullying i was furious as we thought we didnt raise her to behave that way. She was in honors and top ranking of her class.
    via u/LearningParent215
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    I tried to talk to our daughter over why she would do that and i was disturbed to learn it was because she viewed that girl as "trailer trash" which irrated me. The girl from what i learned is very smart and works hard, she bought her own beater car buy herself and works 2 jobs. She considered the money our family had as our families money, so i put her in her place and told her that it was not her money but her mom and I's money.
    via u/LearningParent215
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    I decided from that point i was spoiling my daughter too much, we ended up taking away her latest iphone and replacing it with my old iphone 8 (by switching phones with me) with a talk and text plan. We took away her family credit car,sold her car, along with her macbook and other luxuries.
    via u/LearningParent215
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    I also told her should would have to find a job without neopotism and work a minimum wage job like everyone else her age, because i'm done giving her handouts if shes gonna act entitled. Fast forward 2 months later, she is working at a fast food resturant with us driving her around. She doesnt talk to me unless she needs something like a ride but is very upset with me.
    via u/LearningParent215
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    My wife feels like i am taking this too far because its affecting her social status and grades and school I however feel like she needs to be humbled because i cant have a daughter who will disrespect people just because the amount of money they have. I also feel that her behaving this way will affect her younger sister (f12) and how she precieves the world.
    via u/LearningParent215
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    AITA for punishing my 16-year-old step-daughter after we found out she was bullying a kid for being poor? Edit: I also like to add, we took away her MacBook but she still has access to the family computer in the house. Windows computer for school that is powerful (i7 and great gpu) and recently new
    via u/LearningParent215
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    She still has wifi access at the house however we did throttle her speed because high speed internet is a privilege, she has fast enough internet to do homework and watch videos that aren't in HD like Netflix and stuff. She also isn't failing, she went from a straight A student to mostly B's and 2 A's which I still find great.
    via u/LearningParent215
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    Edit #2: This blew up, I would like to clarify some things, yes we are upper-middle class, not multi-millionaires or anything like that but enough to live comfortably She is practically my daughter as I've raised her since she was practically 4 and her real father walked out on the family when she was 2, my wife helps runs the business and we both agree on punishments. We came to an agreement that I would make decisions with her on things.
    via u/LearningParent215
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    We did talk with the family and had her apologize to the girl at school, she was required to do 5 hours of community service at the school (volunteering for food drives and after school activities) due to the schools no bully policy. We also didn't force her to get a job, she wanted the job to get money so she could hang out with her friends,
    via u/LearningParent215
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    and buy things she wanted. We just cut her off from her $15/hr receptionist job for a non-nepotism job. We also warned her that if her grades become too unsustainable she would be forced to quit her job and focus on school because she doesn't need extracurricular activities outside of school she needs to focus on her education.
    via u/LearningParent215
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    EastAir1386 Partassipant [1] 3 days ago Definitely NTA, and I am proud you for standing up to your step daughter, and giving her a taste of what life is really like. You may just save her from that path to that she was on. She acts very privileged and entitled from what you described. It is good for her to see how the other half lives, I am sure it
    via u/EastAir1386
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    very eye opening for her. I would continue this path for at least a year, so she does not slide back. Hopefully, you will have a much more respectful and kind step daughter. It really is too bad other parents don't do more stuff like this to their children, instead of spoiling them rotten and then wonder why they are in jail. Good for you.
    via u/EastAir1386
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    Opposite-Mention5124 3 days ago Aficionado [15] NTA. It's important to teach your daughter the value of empathy and respect for others, regardless of their financial situation. By holding her accountable for her actions and making her experience the consequences of her behavior, you are teaching her a valuable life lesson. It may be tough for her now, but in the long run, this will help her become a better person.
    via u/Opposite-Mention5124
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    IamIrene 3 days ago Craptain [187] This exactly, OP. NTA. This is parenting. She'll learn a thing or two working in the service industry, especially empathy.
    via u/IamIrene
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    Interesting Wing_461 3 days ago In addition to your punishment, my mom would have made me volunteer at a soup kitchen. Reply Share 91 1 more reply DrWhoop87. 3 days ago Certified Proctologist [27] If more parents were like OP we would probably see a lot less bullying. NTA doesn't go far enough.
    via u/Interesting_Wing_461
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    True-Mousse4957 3 days ago Enthusiast [8] NTA. She is facing consequences for her actions and learning a lesson at the same time. She was spoiled and entitled. Your wife is worried about the wrong thing (her social status), when she should be worried about whether or not she is sending a decent human being, who doesn't shame others for working hard, into the world.
    via u/True-Mousse4957
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    AnUnbreakableMan 3 days ago My wife feels like i am taking this too far because its affecting her social status If her "social status" is based on belittling those less fortunate, then her social status. You should also make her volunteer at a homeless shelter, or serving meals to the poor. Your daughter needs to learn empathy... and humility.
    via u/AnUnbreakableMan
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    PomegranateFun3018 3 days ago NTA. I don't even see having luxuries taken away as a punishment lol. Like, she still has a phone! The only think I can see is maybe not selling her laptop, but I'm also betting she has access to another computer somewhere. You're literally just trying to not raise a monster here
    via u/PomegranateFun3018
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    Leading-Technology44 3 days ago If her social status was based solely on her belongings, her peers must not actually like her for herself all that much. NTA but if she has an attitude this at her age, a few restrictions like you describe aren't going to magically fix it. I hope you guys have a plan for dealing with her going forward.
    via u/Leading-Technology44

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